Rate them from 1 to 10

You're traumatised, they say,
With tilted heads, they delay
As they wait for my reply.
I don't think I am, I sigh,
It's anxiety that's my problem,
I feel like I'm going to die
In the middle of a panic attack,
I need help! I'm terrified!

Let's go back then,
Write a list of bad memories
And rate them 1 to 10
On how distressed they make you feel.
But I feel nothing, I exclaim
It's a coping mechanism,
You've used for protection.
They explain.

But how do you rate from 1 to 10
Events where you feel nothing
It's in the past, irrelevant.
So I put a bunch of numbers
On a piece of scrap paper
With a list of "bad memories"
For the therapist to decipher.
What's the point though,
If I've made up the ratings?
How do I work through this?
My mind starts debating
If there's just something wrong with me.

Am I missing something here?
Why do I not feel sadness?
Why can't I shed a tear?I look at the paper. A snippet of my life,Is empty a feeling?
Have I lost my mind?!

Because it's impossible to rate
From 1 - 10,
Emotions you don't feel,
How do you begin?
A magic pill would be easier.
To fix my broken parts.
Mend the pieces of my mind,
Give me a fresh start.

I want to experience things,
Enjoy life without limits.
But I guess that's a dream,
I've just got to work through it.
"Because nothing comes easy"
Motivational posters babble.
It's a minefield inside though,
My head is like scrabble!
But hey, maybe they're right.
And things will be okay.
I just need to stick it out,
And win this mental fight.